Gorgeous (what a Big head tho)
more from the picture book. In Rainbows is stunning, musically and artistically. I just cannot get enough of these acid paintings
well gosh this one is even better gosh good gosh gosh
iam an angry child
rrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrr one of the people i know, his girlfriend is gonna go away and volunteer in Sudan for year oh yes very nice awfullyy nice yes nice nice and she is looking to raise money to go, since its gotta be self funded, bbbbut now said guy is chasing me and other acquaintances we haven’t seen in like a year or something going oh hi long time no see we need to catch up! btww come to charity.
AND NOW it’s a constant stream of back and forth messages of fake sentimental bollocks aw we need to catch up, yeah pub some day, yeah, how are you, how is adult life etc etc etc etc etc its all so BORING/
I get that people fall in and out of loops with each others, but this is all just so devoid of emotion. I have pals I don’t even talk to for months on end, and then we meet, catch up for hours, then we separate again. that’s fine. that’s how we roll. none of this is that though. it’s all shite
I GOT BORED
At work a month or so ago, as part of a team building exercise (aw aye), we had to draw a river of life. I thought it was a waste of time, but I did it anyway. What confused me though was that it took people something like 20 or 30 minutes to do theirs, and mine was done inside about 30 seconds, and this is it more or less, and I”M GONNA WALK YAH THROUGH IT. I honestly think these are the events that have changed my life the most.
1. I saw a PS1 at a friends house when I was maybe 7 or 8, and I remember being absolutely blown away. I saw GTA 2 being played, with cars blowing up and running people over in 2D and such. And it completely got me. I hassled my mum for a playstation for ages, started buying the magazines to read all the news, I ended up winning a video game competition at Anchor Boys, and soon after my mum got me a PS1 for christmas. And it was just something else. I got Gran Turismo in the box, and that’s what taught me about cars and all the car names. When I was 10 I could name ever car on the road thanks to that game. And it’s that playstation that made me into a nerd (thanks mum!)
2. I have distinct memories of this one. In first year, I remember a third year boy telling me boys picked Tech (woodwork), and girls picked Home Ec, but I loved to cook, and I was pretty good at it. It sounds daft now, but when you are only 11 or 12 and a boy, you don’t wanna be seen to do girl things. I was torn about this for a year up until choosing my subjects, when I decided to just go for it. I hated Tech. I was crap at it, it was boring and I didn’t like the teachers. I really worried about it, but I eventually just sucked it up and asked to do Home Ec. As it was, I was one of 2 boys in the class (the other was gay too so stereotypes do exist), but I had a lot of fun.
3. THE BIGGIE. Radiohead. I can’t remember how exactly I got introduced to them, but I remember enjoying their stuff, enough to buy OK Computer on CD (in 2008 omg). Bit I distinctly remember a moment, the exact circumstances and the exact spot where it all happened I know so well. I was driving to work, OK Computer in the car, and No Surprises came on. I recognised the tune and knew I’d heard it so many times, but had no idea it was a Radiohead song. At that moment, I fell in love, THIS was the band that did THAT song, and I just dived deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole. 6 years later (jesus), 800 songs in my iTunes, it’s still all I listen to. The music, the lyrics the art work the people I just cannot help but be amazed by them. It’s not even a conscious effort, it’s just a constant in my life that they are there, and I (hope) understand it and it moves me like nothing else. Radiohead brought out a (very limited) music fan in me, it brought out a more artistic side of me. It’s just beyond anything else in my life. It’s a bible to me. Radiohead made me quit my job (in a good way), they influence my life decisions. There aren’t enough words to get across what they are in my head. Just jaw dropping.
4. I promise this isn’t materialistic pretentious bollocks. I was a well established nerd in 2009, doing Computer Science at uni, and I needed a better laptop, since my little netbook (remember those?) was a bit shite. Looked around the market, but two of my pals at uni had MacBooks, and I couldn’t help but be drawn to them. The trackpad and the colours and the animation, it stuck out so much. I was always one of the “Mac are overpriced and rubbish etc etc” crowd, but seeing Macs on a day to day basis up close, it caught my attention. Anyway, having never actually used a Mac, I decided to just go for it, and spent my bank account on the cheapest Macbook they sold. And as soon as I typed on it, I fell in love. It was amazing. Macs taught me how much better better can be. They are expensive, but they are better, and paying for better is so so worth it. 5 years later, that same laptop is still my main computer (even though I am a nerd!). It’s lasted. It was worth every penny. It taught me to actually try for better, and not settle for cheapness. A difficult compromise sometimes, but “The quality remains long after the price is forgotten”, according to Henry Rolls (of Rolls Royce), and, he’s got a point.
5. This one is a bit cheap, but w/e. I won’t go into too much detail, but I was captain of a team in a competition at work. I was competing against 850 teams and about 8,000 people, and I came 3rd overall, and got to present to the CEOs of my work (and my company is worth tens of billions, so these are important folk). After that, so many senior leaders now are watching me. Career wise, it’s been great, but, the stand out moment for me was presenting on stage to senior executives, and 9 other teams. I loved it.I was nervous as hell beforehand, but then my script just took over on stage. I was jumping around after out of excitement. But afterwards, one of my team members said this to me: “going on to the stage, I was shaking with nerves, but when you started presenting, I thought ‘Shit, if Scott isn’t nervous, I can’t let him down’”, and this team member? They nailed it, absolutely nailed it. But hearing that afterwards just blew me away. I know it’s only a small thing, but it’s not the first time I’ve heard something like that said to me, and, without wanting to get too big headed, people really seemed to be inspired by me (sorry). That people think I have admirable qualities I cannot get over, it’s just this other thing I can’t understand. I’m not trying that much to be like that, it’s these events in my life have just moulded me this way, but that people think i have a bit more spark in some areas makes me tingle when I think about it. It’s just mad.
ANYWAY, sorry for the ramble, but I’m feeling sentimental. The last 6 months for me have been crazy, and I’m standing on the edge of some big decisions in my life right now. It’s nice to look back, if only briefly.